Update on mom January 16, 2009

Being as this is the first post on this blog, I'll give some background on my mom to those who don't know or didn't have all the facts. My mother has battled many things in her life that are health related but the most terrible of them all was an aneryuism. This incident began the day of my stepfathers death, October 7, 2003. Odell was under Hospice at that time and I along with my sister Cathy had moved in with our parents to help care for him and mom during the last 2 months of his life. Four days prior to his death I had to rush mama to the hospital where she was admitted with mild congestive heart failure. She was faring well but against her cardiologists wishes, he released her to go home to Odell where she had an extremely painful and tearful several hours with Odell...one that I will never ever forget...the grieving she had at that time for this man was enough to make anyone have a nervous breakdown...it was almost unbearable for my sisters and I to witness.

The morning of October 6th, Alan the hospice nurse told us he had less than 24 hrs to live. At that moment my mama retreated to her bedroom and did not leave it. Odell passed on at 7:25am on the morn of the 7th with me and my stepbrother Buck at his side. I would like to state that at this time, I was truly in the presence of God and have never felt in a more holy place since that time.

Mom became ill that night and we took her to the ER.

The next morning at 6:30am I received a call from Cathy who had stayed at the hospital with her, to come to the room asap. At 7am when I was getting in the elevator a code was called for my mama's room...

The next 48-72 hours were the most horrific times of my entire life. My mother suffered an abdominal aneryuism brought on by a clot most likely in her heart. Everything that could go wrong in her body, did. Everything was turned backwards...and upside down. The rupture of the clot caused her intestines and bowel to begin to die within minutes. Within an hour, a foot of her colon was dead with gangrene. She was on a ventilator, swollen twice her size, eyelids slightly open and her pupils blown. People gathered with us outside the MICU. Probably about 30 or so. Even people we didn't know, walking past us in the hallway were stopping to offer their help and prayers as my sisters and I stood, shaken to the core, guilt ridden that we had no idea how sick she was, and terrified that we were facing a double funeral. We had grieved for Odell for months and were ready for his passing, but our mama? No.

Within those 72 hours, she died 3 times and was brought back to life...her file, which I purchased a year ago from the hospital, is hundreds of pages long and weighs about 5-8 lbs.

The aneryuism caused her to have a stroke that night...and she's had many since then. The most recent being about a month ago. With those strokes has come MUCH brain damage and memory loss. And we've suffered as a family greatly over the past 6 years from watching the deterioration of her mind and memory.

She is no longer capable of caring for herself which will bring me to the latest update...

After this past stroke, she returned the nursing home called Our Lady of the Valley, THE nicest nursing home in the Roanoke valley. But instead of returning to her independent apartment there, she went to the rehab for therapy to build her strength back up. We received a call this past week from them stating that her rehab is over and she is ready to return to her apartment. I called the social worker there and requested another meeting, one that I could attend too, because I have several concerns about her returning to her room to live unassisted. The aneryuism caused her to have an ilestomy, similar to a colonostomy but higher on the abdomen, and with her severe rheumatoid arthritis it's becoming harder and harder for her to care for it...not to mention her memory loss.

Thursday night mama called me from the Sullivan center where she is staying and expressed to me that she had visited her apartment that day but didn't want to return and it was like talking to a child who didn't want to go to school. Funny how I guess God had already expressed this to me in my concerns the day before.

Cathy and I had the meeting yesterday with all the heads of everything at the nursing home. We came to an agreement after lengthy discussions from each person in the room, that mama remain in the skilled nursing facility part. She now requires 24 hour supervision. She requires cueing on dressing, bathing, brushing her teeth and hair, wearing clean clothes etc. Someone has to get her for her meals etc....she simply cannot be alone.

So what happens now? Well, we have to pay for her apartment for the next 30 days, that is $3710.00. We have 30 days to clean her furniture and belongings out. Since she has been released from the rehab part of the Sullivan center, the Medicare will no longer pay for her to be there. Therefore, she remains in her room there, but we pay out of pocket $266.00 a day until a permanent room is available. The administrator told us she didn't think it would be long before a room was available. Once mama's money is gone, what bit we have left over from the sale of her house this past summer, then Medicare/Medicaid will kick in and pay for her to live there 100%. So she is now in the skilled part, praise Jesus.

Several of the heads there stopped us before we left Friday to tell us how happy mama is there. That she is participating in therapy and enjoying it...she visits with people...and she is smiling. We've not seen her smile regularly for several months. When Cathy and I told her that she didn't have to go back to her apartment, she was so happy and excited.

I slept all night last night without the aid of sleeping pills for the first time in years.

She loves getting mail and pictures, (Jessica, Jay, Jenny..)if you have pictures of your babies, you can send her some as she will hang them up in her room all over...that is one of her pasttimes, to look at pictures. Email me if you want her address as I won't put it here as this is a public blog.

God bless whoever reads this and keeps up...and thank you too...